iHate This Feeling
by jjabramss
Summary: He was way happier dancing with Carly than he was kissing her. Not that she cared or anything. Three-shot. Seddie.
1. iFeel Sad?

_Strawberries. whipped cream. Gibby?!_

Sam shivered that was one mental picture that Sam could have gone her whole life (and afterlife) without. At least now she knew that Gibby didn't turn her down because she wasn't pretty, or funny, or awesome. Cause she was totally all of those things. _Totally. _

She reassured herself that she could get any boy she wanted, except for Gibby (not that she'd ever want him or anything). She could get Jake Crandle, or that Nate guy, or even Freddie. Yeah, if she wanted to she could get the one guy on the planet who would rather spend 72 hours with his mother watching a marathon of 'Why Doesn't My Son Love Me Enough?' on the Woman's Channel than go to an MMA fight with her. She sighed _Yeah right_.

Not that she cared about any of that, she was Sam Puckete. She was able to take down Ricky Flame (twice and in two totally unrelated challenges). She was on a super popular web show. She was... still standing on Gibby's porch. In an outfit she hated. While a few blocks away her best friend was having a great time with a guy she helped her find.

She decided that she'd better leave Gibby's house before he sent his mom out to make her leave. She wasn't opposed to breaking Gibby's thumbs, but his mom was too nice to hurt. Sam hated that about her. She made her way to the porch steps and looked back at Gibby's house, "Thanks for breaking my spirit kid" she muttered before walking off the porch and out on to the sidewalk.

If she wanted to it would be easy to catch a bus and go to the dance, or home, or to Carly's. Well pretty much anywhere but here, but she didn't want to go to the dance dateless, or home to her mother, or have to hang out with Spencer at Carly's (not that she didn't like Spencer, but sometimes he could just be a little much). So instead she just kept on walking, she had a good thirty minutes to kill until Carly would be home and at least then she could go to Carly's apartment and just pretend that she had been at home all night.

Even if she wasn't good at getting boys to like her at least she was good at some things. Even if those things were lying, eating, and hitting **at least she was good at them. **She was also good at making people hate her, but that wasn't something she was going to add to her list of skills.

She felt sad. It was the only emotion that she could think of that would describe how she felt. In all reality she hadn't been this sad since that evil witch of a girl, Missy, poisoned her with bad chocolate and stole her spot in iCarly. Yeah, she was still a little bitter about the whole friend-stealing thing, but holding grudges was Sam's thing. She stopped walking and looked around, great she hadn't been paying attention for the last ten minutes and now look where she was, somewhere in the middle of Gibby's subdivision. _Just Great._

She decided it was time to give up this walking thing, because she was 1.) lost in suburbia, 2.) her feet hurt, and 3.) she needed a smoothie and ham to make her feel better. She pulled her phone out of the bag she was holding and dialed the number she knew by heart.

"Hey Kyle, send a cab over to.." She paused and looked towards the closest street sign, "Davidson Drive and Annie Avenue. Make it snappy." Kyle, the man who owned 'Seattle Services', told her a cab would be there in a few minutes, because he knew better than anyone that you do not make a Puckete wait.

It took ten minutes for the bright yellow cab, driven tonight by a Tony Soprano look-alike, to pull up to the corner. Sam slid herself into the backseat, sliding her shoes off in the process. The man looked at her in his rear view mirror, she sat there and started back at him.

"Where to miss?" he asked, she expected him to know that where she would want to go, seeing as how she only took a cab to two places. School and Carly's.

"The Groovy Smoothie." She said, throwing her legs up on the seat, "and be sure to put it on my mom's tag."

"What's your mom's name?" He asked as he pulled off from the curb, and started on the fifteen-minute drive to The Groovy Smoothie.

"Mrs. Puckete." Sam said_. God, didn't everyone know who her mother was?_ She groaned quietly, and stayed silent the rest of the ride.

By the time she reached The Groovy Smoothie she had coached herself into a good mood by thinking of how terrible Fredlumps date had gone. Magic Malika had probably singed off his eyebrows or worse. Mr. Tony Soprano look-alike dropped her off a few feet down from The Groovy Smoothie entrance. She slipped her shoes on, told him to give himself a tip, and got out.

She made her way towards her favorite hangout, Carly would be home soon, Fredward would have no eyebrows, and she would have a Strawberry Splat smoothie. _Delicious. _She opened the door to The Groovy Smoothie to hear a slow song had been turned up. She rolled her eyes, _what shenanigans were afoot? _She looked towards the couple that had decided to make her favorite hangout their own personal dance floor. She was about to yell 'get a room' as she would with every lovey-dovey couple until she saw who it was.

_Freddie. Carly. Dancing. Together?_

This was another mental picture she could have gone forever without, only this wasn't in her mind. It was real. It was in front of her. It surprisingly threw her back into her previous state of sadness. She left as quietly as she had entered, paused for only a second outside to look back at the pure bliss of Freddork's face. _He was way happier dancing with Carly than he was kissing her._

Not that she cared or anything.

She caught the next bus that would go to her house, she spent the ten minute bus ride near a hobo she was pretty had recently bathed in meat and dog food. She could have moved away from him, but instead she just stayed there, because she would rather sit next to a dirty, smelly hobo than have to sit alone and think about why she was so sad about this Carly and Freddie thing. She pulled the string and the bus stopped at the nearest corner; she got up and got off the bus.

It took her two minutes to walk home. She sang her favorite Cuddlefish song. She didn't think about her night.

She opened her door, not needing to carry a key. Even if her front door could lock it never would be locked. Upon opening the door she was confronted with a fern leaf that had been bent and now hung in front of the door. She thrashed at it until her mother came out of the living room to make sure an animal hadn't found it's way inside.

"Sam, please don't kill my only good fern."

"It's fake mom. I couldn't kill it even if I wanted to." Sam said as she pushed the fern leaf out of the way and slammed the door.

"So I take it the dance didn't go well." Her mother was trying to be Miss Compassionate, and it wasn't working.

"No mom, it went just fantastic." With that Sam kicked off her shoes, dropped her jacket and bag, and proceeded into her bedroom.

"Night sweetie." Her mom called after her, Sam didn't reply. Instead she threw herself onto her bed and hoped to fall asleep before she had to think about anything that had happened that night.


	2. iHide

That night Sam had her first dream in years that didn't involve ham, bacon, steak, or really any animal by-product. Instead of her normal, delicious dreams she had a dream that involved Gibby, Carly, Freddie, and pretty much everyone she didn't want to see. They were at the dance, and everyone was happy. Everyone but her. Carly and Freddie were together. That dick-bag Missy was with someone. Even Nevel Papperman had someone. Sam had no one, she was alone.

Sam woke up from that dream at noon. She decided that is wasn't a dream it was a nightmare, and now Carly and Freddie being an "item" could go on her list of fears, right under dentist and above Fed-ex delivery men (she liked to keep her list of fears alphabetized). She decided to lie in bed as long as she could that Saturday. She knew they moved iCarly to Saturday this week because of the dance. She knew her mother liked to have mother-daughter bonding time the third Saturday of the month. Neither of those things were mandatory so she would just lay in bed for as long as possible.

Sam's phone vibrated, she looked onto her bedside table where it was plugged in. _I left that in my bag, in the hallway. Didn't I?_ Her mother must have deiced it would be nice to pick up her stuff and put it in her room. It would have been nice on a normal day, but today she didn't want it in here.

She reluctantly reached for her phone, before she grabbed it once again it vibrated. She sighed, _two text messages in a minute? Great. _ She picked it up and pulled so it would unplug from the charger with out her having to unplug it. She rolled onto her back and looked at the screen. **46 text messages**.

A majority of her text messages were from Carly, and they broke down like this:  
2 telling her how awful Austin had been  
3 telling her that Malika was crazy good at magic  
7 Telling Sam that Spencer was doing something awkward/fun/awesome/crazy  
5 asking if Sam was ignoring her  
20 telling Sam that she needed to get over there for iCarly practice  
0 about how she and Freddie practically made out in the middle of The Groovy Smoothie.

She had seven other text messages from random kids from school asking when iCarly would be on. She didn't respond to any of them because she highly doubted that it would be on tonight, or again for a while. She had two texts from her mom telling her that she was going to the "store" and wouldn't be back for a while. She groaned, threw her phone next to her and put a pillow over her head. Her phone vibrated again_. _She pushed the pillow off and grabbed her phone. Carly, of course

_Sam, I'm coming over with Freddie and Spencer. Bacon will be brought. _

She didn't want them to come over; she wanted to be alone to wallow in her self-pity. She knew that she couldn't stop them, but she could just not be there. She hastily scribbled a note that mentioned a vacation in Vegas and to leave any packages on the back porch. She taped the note to her front door and snuck out the back only after she grabbed her secret meat supply, because especially in times of crisis, Mamma's gotta have her meat.

She knew that Carly would have Spencer drive them so it would only be a few minutes before they got there, hopefully they would believe the note and wouldn't go inside. She knew that if they went inside they'd know she wasn't gone. Normally she would just hide somewhere close by, but she didn't want to run into _nothing-will-ever-happen-between-us _Shay or _we-wont-keep-secrets _Benson. So she decided she would go to the one place that no one would look for her.

After a five minute bus ride she was in front of Bushwell Plaza, most people wouldn't go to the apartment complex of the two people they didn't want to see, but Samantha Puckete wasn't most people. She peered through the doors; no one was in the lobby but a sleeping Lewbert. She quietly made her way into the lobby, took a quick look around and sprinted to the elevator bank near the stairs. She hit the up button repetitively, Carly and Freddie would be gone by now but she didn't know when they were getting back. After what felt like forever (and a day) the doors opened she stepped inside, hit the '8' button and waited for the doors to close.

On her way up the elevator she started to think about why she was doing this. Why couldn't she just face Carly and Freddie? Just say 'Hey guys I totally saw that moment between you two at the Groovy smoothie." and be done with it? She knew the answer _because she wasn't just sad about the Groovy Smoothie thing_. She was sad that Carly hadn't told her yet even though Carly had gone all crazy crusader when she learned that Sam was keeping a secret. She was mad that Carly was being all _Ohhh I'll just dance with you Freddie even though I don't like you like that_. She was jealous. That was the first time she had admitted it. She was jealous, not just of Carly getting Freddie, she was jealous that Carly had over seven hundred boys who to go to a dance with her and Sam couldn't even get one, she couldn't even get _Gibby._

The elevator doors opened, she could have hit floor one and gone back down and home, but she didn't. Instead she got off the elevator and walked down the hallway, past the place where the World's Fattest Priest had fallen (the carpet didn't quite match right where they had to fix the floor), past the apartment she had accidentally tried to go into the first time she came over to Carly's, past her two best friends apartments. All the way down the hall and around the corner to the window that leads to the fire escape. She unlatched the window and pushed it open. She sighed and climbed out on to the metal platform, she looked around for the best place to empty her pockets of her meat supply and saw a dark blue chair folded up and leaning against the steps.

She smiled for a second realizing that Freddie had left the chair out here after they kissed. She emptied the contents of her pockets onto the window shelf and reached for the chair, she unfolded it and put it down near the window. She sat down in it, throwing her feet up on the rail. She silently thanked Freddie for being forgetful and grabbed a handful of bacon.


	3. iResolve this problem

Sam was on her third piece of bacon when she heard something buzz. She looked around for a second before realizing that it was her phone. She reached towards the windowsill for it when it buzzed again. _Wonderful they must be leaving my house_. She sighed and reluctantly picked it up. Two new text messages, one from Carly one from Freddie. Maybe they finally decided to tell her that they loved each other. She looked at Carly's first.

_Went to your house. Saw note. Is your mom on the run from debt collectors again? iCarly is off for now. Text me sometime._

Well at least Carly wasn't on to her hiding scheme, she knew they'd be home soon and she could leave she'd just have to time it right. She didn't want to look at Freddie's assuming it would be some variation of the one Carly had sent, but she did anyways, because she hated seeing 'one unread message' on her screen.

_Sam, stop playing gone. Carly's worried, what even made you go all social recluse?_

She put her phone back down without texting either of them, _of course they wouldn't tell her all about their late night rendezvous. _She sighed, she needed to stop being so mad. Normally she liked being mean and feisty, but right now she was just being bitter and it made her feel bad. She stayed there on the fire escape for a long time, occasionally munching on a piece of ham or a strip of bacon. She was lost in thought.

Maybe Carly wanted to tell her in person. Maybe she just wanted to make Freddie feel like he had a chance. Maybe both of their night had just gone so horribly, terribly wrong that they wanted to have one good moment. Maybe or maybe not. She tried to replay the night in her head, but she kept getting side tracked by things, mostly because she didn't want to think about how happy Freddie looked.

She remembered that Gibby's girlfriend smelled like mangos and lemonade. She remembered the cab driver had 'Hot Shot!' tattooed on his forearm. She remembered that the Groovy Smoothie was having a special on 'Raspberry Razzle-Dazzle' smoothies. Yet she refused to remember the song that was playing over the speakers or where Freddie's hands were.

She couldn't remember some of the most important things, but she could remember the dumb, meaningless ones. Great, just great. Of course if she couldn't remember that important night she probably couldn't remember other important ones. She closed her eyes and thought about the most important moments she could think of. There was the first time she met Carly, she could almost taste the tuna sandwich Carly had offered her. Also there was the first time she met Freddie, when he was moving in and she "accidently" tripped him going up the stairs to his apartment. The first time Spencer ever made her anything, when he was going through his chipmunk stage and turned her favorite pair of shoes into chipmunk spouses.

She took a deep breath, of course there was the first time a boy liked Carly more than they liked her. Also that once that Freddie produced his first hurtful insult. _Oh Sam, all friends go through that. Don't be such a pansy. _Maybe she was being all drastic and dramatic, if Carly was doing what she was doing would she think Carly was being dramatic. Probably not, but Carly wouldn't just disappear she would yell and freak out. That would be dramatic.

So she sighed and sat there, her phone vibrated. _If I get another text I swear…_ she grabbed her phone. She assumed that it would be from Carly or Freddie, or maybe her mom., but it wasn't from any of them. Instead it was the iCarly Twitter, _why do I have this on text updates? _She sighed, probably something about how iCarly is canceled tonight. She clicked the read button and the text opened.

_First Ever iCarly interactive game: Sam is hiding. Find her and bring her to the Groovy Smoothie. You could be on iCarly. Go!_

Oh of course Carly and Freddie would think of that. _Let's make it a game that should be fun. _ At least no one would find her up here. All she would have to do it wait out the game, she suspected it would be over soon.

--------------

But it wasn't over soon. Once Sam had shut her phone kids started texting her for her location. She had to turn her phone off. Over the next hour she heard at least 14 different kids come to Carly's door and then Freddie's looking for her. She scoffed, like they would make it that easy. So Sam just sat and waited, she was there for two hours before she realized how late it was. Her mother would be getting home soon from whatever it was she had decided to do today. Sam picked up her phone and turned it on. Her welcome tone played loudly, she tried to cover it up, and she suspected that no one heard. Her home screen showed then she received fifty-nine messages rapid fire all sent a while ago asking for where she was.

None from Carly, Freddie, or her mother, at least that was a pleasant surprise. She jammed her phone into her pocket, grabbed the empty bags that had once contained delicious meat, folded up her chair and placed it back where it was. No one would be able to tell that she had been here. No one at all. Heck, she'd probably forget about this soon and not even remember she was there. She looked out towards the city one last time before she turned to leave. Only, she couldn't. Freddie Benson was at the window looking at her with his "disappointed" look.

"Move dishrag." She said as she tried to push him away from the window. He simply stood there, Sam knew she could hurt him but she couldn't see the point in doing it. Pretty soon his mother would come looking for him Marissa didn't like her weak, little Fredward to be away for too long.

"So Sam, you wanna tell me what's going on or do you plan on hiding forever?" He asked, she was surprised by his directness. Normally he would be all shy and quiet about what was bothering him.

"I'm wasn't hiding." She said, "And even if I was it isn't any of your business." She shoved him once again, but he still didn't move even though he knew he'd probably get hit some more.

"Fine, Sam. You weren't hiding. You were simply enjoying the view from the fire escape for two hours."

"How do you know I've been here for two hours?"

"It doesn't matter, what does matter is why you are trying to avoid Carly and me."

"You're crazy Fredlumps." She said exasperated, she pushed him one more time. He finally stepped out of her way. She was surprised for a minute, she hadn't expected him to give up so easily, but then again she wasn't Carly. He wouldn't be persistent with her. He shook his head as she climbed through the window and walked down the short hallway.

"That's it Sam just run away from your problems. Just like your mom." Sam stopped walking and Freddie realized that he had hit a nerve. He backed up a little bit, afraid of what Sam might do. She turned around and looked at him. She wanted to hit him till he was black and blue, but she knew he was right. He looked scared; he always was scared when she got mad.

"Why didn't you tell me that you and Carly love each other?" She asked. Her question threw him off. He was expecting her to yell and hit, and normally she would.

"Uhmm." He rubbed the back of his neck, confused, "What are you talking about?" She took a step towards him, he flinched.

"I mean that I saw you and Carly _dancing _at the Groovy Smoothie _together_," She spoke like 'dancing' and 'together' were vile words.

"Oh that was nothing." He said, he relaxed a little, "We just had terrible nights. We just danced together. It was nothing."

"It didn't look like nothing." Sam muttered, she turned around and continued on her way. _Oh great job confronting him Sam._ Freddie watched her for a second before going after her.

"Hey Sam," he said, she stopped annoyed that he was stopping her again. She almost snapped at him, but he spoke before she could, "The whole me and Carly thing really wasn't anything," she rolled her eyes _I didn't believe you the first time I wont believe you now_, he saw her little eye roll but continued, "I don't even like Carly anymore… well I like her a little, but I like someone else more. So don't think that there is anything going on between us."

"Oh you like someone else?" She said, she obviously didn't believe him, "Who would this someone else be?" He started shifting his weight from foot-to-foot nervously.

"You" He muttered, he looked at her nervously. He expected to lose a limb, but instead Sam started laughing. She laughed loudly and uncontrollably.

"Aw, Fredlumps. You always know how to cheer me up." She said once her laughing died down, "So who is it really?"

"Oh just this girl at our school." He said, trying to think of a name to give her, "Wendy." Sam smiled, but she didn't have her heart behind it. Yeah she laughed, but only because she knew Freddie wasn't serious about liking her.

"Well, just promise that if you start dating Wendy that you tell me about it." Sam said, throwing her arm over his shoulder, "Friends tell each other everything." Freddie put his arm around her shoulder too.

"I hope you know this doesn't fix you disappearing." He said to her, "Carly spent all day worrying and when she finds out why you were hiding—" Sam cut him off.

"She wont find out. We will tell her that you found me at my house with my mom, we were out visiting family." She said as they walked towards Carly's apartment.

"What happened to 'Friends tell each other everything'?" Freddie asked.

"Well this will be our only secret." She said before she moved away from him and ran down the hall knock on Carly's door. As she knocked she thought to herself, _but not my only secret_.


End file.
